Episode 44: How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome!
Stop letting fear and comparison paralyze you
Hey BRILLIANT Mompreneurs!
Imposter Syndrome. Chances are you’ve probably faced it if you’re an entrepreneur. But do you have tried-and-true ways to move past it? This episode is for anyone feeling stuck from fears of inadequacy, not knowing what to do, or like you’re a fraud. We go through 6 steps to help you get un-stuck and beyond the crippling hold of imposter syndrome!
You don't have to let it freeze you forever! You don't have to let it stop you from reaching your goals from stepping forward. You can refuse to be stopped. You can say "oh, hi imposter syndrome. I see you. I'm going to work through you. And I am going to not let you stop me".
Discussed in this Episode...
Imposter syndrome; How do we deal with it?
I have been hearing about this from so many moms in my community lately! “I have impostor syndrome. I can’t get over it.” “I don’t know what to do.” “I can’t grow my business.” “I feel stuck.” “I just feel like I don’t know enough.”
So we’re going to talk about it today!
Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It usually disproportionately affects high achieving people; so if you’re a high achiever this probably affects you. Maybe you find it difficult to accept your accomplishments? Many question whether they’re deserving of accolades, achievements, awards, business growth, or even getting paid for their services.
Imposter syndrome really can freeze us up! I have experienced it myself; that doubt in my abilities, feeling like a fraud. Unfortunately, it’s normal. But we can learn how to deal with it, and instead of it freezing us up we can recognize it for what it is and overcome it! I want you to be able to put yourself out there with confidence and say, “I’m worthy of this. I’m worthy of taking that step and putting myself out there, and I don’t have to know everything before I do.”
…thinking you just don’t know enough
…saying you don’t have a certification
…attributing your success to external factors or luck
…sabotaging your own success
…letting self doubt hold you back
…setting extremely challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall “short”
If you relate to any of this list, you are not alone. We feel this impostor syndrome strongly as mom entrepreneurs. So how do we deal with it? How do we get through this impostor syndrome? How do we keep it from freezing us up and stopping us in our tracks? Let’s go through the list!
1. You need to acknowledge it
This is such a powerful first step! It always starts with the mind, doesn’t it? We need to just stop and say, “I see you imposter syndrome. I know you’re here. I know, you’re tripping me up. And you’re keeping me from moving forward.” I see you. I need you just to personally, internally, acknowledge it. And then don’t stop there.
2. Share it with someone else
This is not to draw attention and ask for sympathy. Nobody wants to do that! But what I do want you to do is talk to a business bestie. Or maybe in a community where you feel safe, like the Brilliant Mompreneurs Society. Share it with someone though, and admit out loud what is going through your head.
3. Get curious about your imposter syndrome
I love this step. I don’t need you to solve your imposter syndrome or micro-dissected it, or you know, talk about your childhood and how that trauma affects how you’re feeling today. I just want you to get curious about why, for instance, you’re feeling like a fraud? Why do you feel like you’re not smart enough? Just get curious and know that there’s not a right or wrong answer. When you ask these questions, you’re just letting them come to you and allowing them to really penetrate your heart and mind. Why do you feel like you have to be perfect? Is, is that something you really truly believe? Just get curious.
4. Take baby steps
When we have impostor syndrome, we think we have to be perfect. We think we have to conquer everything and we have these crazy high expectations for ourselves! So when I say baby steps, you’re probably thinking that next I’m gonna say “done is better than perfect.” And I can feel you rolling your eyes at me, because we’ve all heard that. While I will absolutely encourage you that “done is better than perfect”, it’s not the only thing I’m going to say.
I also want to encourage you not to focus on perfect; focus on small actions and just take the next small step. You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to do the whole thing at once. I just want you to take one baby step. Whether that’s just telling people what you’re planning, or asking if anybody is interested in it, what is that next baby step that you can take? I’m not saying to just do it, and put it out there imperfect in all of its raw glory. I’m not saying that! You just have to take one small step closer to that thing that you know, in your heart of hearts, you want to do.
5. Stop comparing yourself
I know it’s hard, but you’re looking at other people and creatively filling in the blanks of their journey, their knowledge, their strengths, their personality, their experiences, their qualifications; and you don’t know them. Maybe they have nothing to do with you! My accomplishments, my experiences, my knowledge, my education may not relate to yours. Most of you only know me through social media, and you’re looking at small snippets of my life. The reality is that you’re looking at small pieces of what I want to show you, and you don’t get to see all my whole story. That’s the same for whoever you are comparing yourself to! You are not seeing that behind the picture perfect Instagram post there is a pile of dirty laundry, or a pile of dishes on the other side of their kitchen.
If you’re comparing yourself to someone, please do yourself a favor and stop.
6. Call out the lies
Imposter syndrome is a liar! 99% of the time when I’m talking to women who say they have impostor syndrome, they’re just believing the lies. You need to ask yourself, is this true? Is it true that you don’t have enough experience? Is it true that you haven’t learned enough? Is it true that you need to have 95 certifications and approvals before you can actually be qualified to throw your hat in the ring? It’s not at all true, and you need to reframe your thoughts when you see those lies. You need to put them in front of you and say, I don’t believe this. It is not true.
- Lani’s personal journey of overcoming imposter syndrome
- How we’ve all done harder things
- How to stop letting fear paralyze you
More about Lani Jackson:
Lani is a mom to 6 kids, and wife to her husband of 15 years. She survives on caffeine, laughing with her kids, cooking in the kitchen, hiding in the pantry eating chocolate, and helping other women know they are not alone in the chaos of motherhood & their entrepreneur journey.
She is a Clarity & Strategy Coach for mom entrepreneurs! Helping them to create flexible strategies that adjust and move with the chaos of mom life, but still bring consistent monthly income. Her mission is to help mompreneurs get out of survival mode, release the mom guilt, and create a clear plan of action that will help them reach their dreams of consistent monthly income, flexibility, and freedom.